Hi Lovely You,
I (John) was walking around town this morning (and ‘town’ is Fano on the east coast of Italy).
And I became more-than-usual-aware of my thoughts about those I was passing,
or came into contact with (in the cafe for example).
I became aware of the general tone and quality of those thoughts (no, not telling).
And I consciously switched the tone and quality so that I was thinking things more along these lines –
“You look like you’re a kind person.”
“I like your shoes.”
“You look as if you’re in a rush, I hope you get chance to slow down soon.”
“I bet you’ve got some stories to tell.”
And so on.
Not that I go around judging people all the time (either negatively or positively).
and here’s the thing…
If I’m in a grumpy mood,
or pissed off about something,
Then I do engage more (in my head) with those I pass.
And it’s usually not pleasant.
I also take things more personally.
It’s more like –
“You could have held the door then, you idiot.”
“What possessed you to buy those shoes?”
“You’re stressed and impatient, what’s wrong with you?”
“I don’t like the look of you.”
And if I’m relaxed and happy, then I tend to see everyone rather differently –
Yes, thinking people look kind or beautiful or interesting or all three.
But who cares what I’m thinking?
What does it matter?
Well, it does matter doesn’t it?…
Apart from the effect that those thoughts are having on my own mind and body.
Because even though I might not open my mouth once,
those thoughts are part of –
My Conversation with the World.
When I talk nicely to people (even in my own head),
They tend to talk back nicely to me (in a variety of ways, and not just in my own head).
They tend to treat me well.
Yes, you can take this down to the tangible truisms –
With more generous thoughts, you’re probably smiling more, looking at people in a warmer way, exhibiting more open body language, and so on –
so they will respond better to you.
But think about this more widely.
What goes on in my head forms a conversation with the world.
And I prefer that conversation to be good.
How is your conversation with the world going?
What do you say to people, and the world, in your head?
Have a go at improving your side of the conversation,
And watch as the magic happens, and the world engages with you in a warmer way.
And if you want a short-cut to this –
Say ‘F**k It’ to the things in your life that are bothering you and aren’t really so important,
Create some space,
Sit back more,
You’ll feel better.
And your side of the conversation will improve naturally.
Have we said, by the way, how wonderful you’re looking?
And how bloody fascinating you are?
John & Gaia x